Pre-Deployment Checklist for Military Families With Kids

A pre-deployment checklist for a family with small kids has four sections, and most unit-issued lists only cover two of them. The paperwork and money items are the ones the unit and the legal office will chase you on. The kids-and-school section and the household run-book are the ones nobody chases, and they decide how the first month at home actually goes. Start all four as soon as the dates look real, finish the legal items first, and leave the last week for the kids.

This is the checklist. The deployment guide for dads is the map of the whole cycle around it.

How to use this list

Work it in the order below, not the order things feel urgent. Legal and money items have lead times you don’t control: appointments, signatures, a bank that wants both of you in the branch. Kid items mostly need time you do control, which is why they slide to the final weekend and then don’t happen.

Two rules before you start:

Your unit’s checklist wins. Military OneSource keeps a current predeployment checklist, and it tells you to “complete required tasks from your unit’s checklist, including predeployment health assessments.” This page is the family layer on top of that, not a substitute for it.
Nothing here is legal or benefits advice. Where an item touches a document or an entitlement, the answer comes from your installation legal assistance office, your finance office or your branch’s current guidance.

Section 1: kids and school

This is the section unit lists skip, and it’s the one your kids feel.

Tell them, before the gear appears. Plain words, a timeline they can touch, and the same answer every time they ask. The age-by-age scripts are in explaining deployment to a child.
Childcare emergency plan. Who picks up if the at-home parent is sick, stuck or at the ER with the other kid. Name two people, and make sure the daycare or school has them on the authorized list.
Tell the school and the teacher. One short email: dates (as far as you can share them), who to call, and a request to flag behaviour changes early. Teachers see the month-four wobble before you do.
The photo spot. Pick one place at kid height for the deployed parent’s photo. Decide it now, so it isn’t moved around the house for a week.
Letters hidden for later. A short stack of open-when letters written before departure and stashed with the at-home parent: first lost tooth, a bad day, the birthday.
Record the routine. A few bedtime stories on video, recorded in the kid’s own room if you can, so the voice arrives in the right place.
Plan goodbye day. Short beats cinematic. The run-book is deployment goodbyes with kids.

Section 2: the household run-book

One notebook, written while both of you are still home to answer questions. Whoever stays should be able to run the house from it at 2100 with a beeping appliance and no phone signal to the other parent.

Shutoffs and systems. Water, gas and breaker locations. Filter sizes. The furnace’s quirks.
Recurring dates. Car registration, inspection, lease renewal, insurance renewals, the kids’ checkups.
Vehicles. Military OneSource suggests deciding what happens to each vehicle (storage, a family member, staying at home) and sharing upcoming maintenance with whoever will drive it.
Mail. The same checklist says to “designate someone to handle your mail” and update USPS if mail needs forwarding.
Pets. A named caretaker, current vet records and the vet’s number in the notebook.
Home help, priced now. If the budget allows a lawn service or occasional cleaning, decide that before departure, not in week six when the at-home parent is too tired to make phone calls.
Passwords and accounts. One secure, agreed place for logins the at-home parent will need. Military OneSource publishes an account-and-passwords guide for exactly this.

Keep originals of the paperwork from the next two sections together. A fireproof, water-resistant document box such as the SentrySafe CHW30220 keeps them in one place; Military OneSource’s advice is to “store all important documents in one location and keep several copies.”

Section 3: money

Read the pay statement together. The checklist says to review your Leave and Earnings Statement and understand any extra pay or allowances that may apply during deployment. What applies to your family is a finance-office question, not a blog one.
A written budget. Document recurring monthly expenses and set up autopay, so nothing depends on one person remembering.
Who can move money. Make sure the at-home parent can access every account that pays a bill, without a phone call.
Free help. Military OneSource offers financial counselors, and your installation has personal financial management staff. Use them before departure, while both of you can sit in the meeting.
Know the protections exist. The Servicemembers Civil Relief Act can help with some debts and leases. Ask the legal office whether any of it applies to you, rather than assuming.

Section 4: legal and records

Every item here goes through your installation legal assistance office and current branch guidance. Military OneSource says to contact the legal services office “for assistance with designating and creating your power of attorney, living will, and last will and testament.”

Power of attorney. General or specific, and for what, is a decision to make with the legal office.
Will and living will. Same office, same appointment if you can get it.
Emergency data. Update your DD Form 93, the Record of Emergency Data, and tell your family what’s on it.
Life insurance beneficiaries. Check that the people listed are the people you mean, and ask your personnel office how changes are made under current guidance.
Family care plan. Military OneSource calls it “essential if you have dependents or children,” a guide for caregivers on “child care, school, medical care and family activities.” Whether your family is formally required to file one depends on your branch’s rules, so check.
ID cards and enrollment. Confirm everyone is enrolled in DEERS and TRICARE, and that every family member who needs a military ID has a current one; the military ID guide for kids covers who needs one and how to book it. Plan for any card that expires while you’re away.
Emergency contact path. Agree how the at-home parent reaches you, or your command, in a real emergency. The Red Cross emergency message system and your unit’s family contacts are the official route; write the numbers in the notebook.

The last week

Stop adding tasks. The last week is for the kids and the two of you.

One ordinary family day, with no errands in it.
Both parents run bedtime at least once, so the at-home parent’s version is the one the kids already know.
Pack the duffel where the kids aren’t watching every item go in.
Hand over the notebook, walk through it once, and put it somewhere you can both find it.

The paperwork protects the family on paper. The first two sections protect it on a Tuesday night in month three, and those are the ones only you can do.

FAQ: pre-deployment checklist

What should be on a pre-deployment checklist for a family?

Four sections: kids and school (the explanation, an emergency childcare plan, the school, letters and recordings), the household run-book, money, and legal paperwork such as power of attorney, wills and the Record of Emergency Data. Your unit’s own checklist comes first; this is the family layer on top.

How early should a family start pre-deployment preparation?

As soon as dates look real. Legal and banking items depend on appointments you don’t control, so do them first and leave the final week for the family.

Who helps with power of attorney and wills before deployment?

Your installation legal assistance office. Military OneSource directs service members there for powers of attorney, living wills and last wills.

What do kids need before a parent deploys?

An honest explanation in plain words, a routine that will stay the same, a visible way to count the time, and something from the deployed parent they can hold or hear: letters, recordings, a photo at their height.