Military Dad’s Completely Uninformed Football Picks for Week 5

After my incredible start to the season, I decided to shake things up last week by letting the kids pick the games. That turned into a relatively interesting idea since we had, by far, our worst week of this season with a record of 6-9. My initial reaction was to just go ahead and disown the kids, but my wife wasn’t exactly onboard for that. 🙂

I’ve decided that everyone deserves another shot, so Princess and Little Dude sat down with my once again to give their expert and rather unique take on each matchup. As a reminder, Princess is 7 and Little Dude is 4.

Buffalo at Cleveland

Wow! You thought nothing could beat a prime time game between the Browns and Bills. Little did you know how awesome it would be if you just took away the starting quarterbacks for each team. Browns to win!

New Orleans at Chicago

Princess: “Bears.”

Me: “Why?”

Princess: “They’re awesome like you, and I like the way their helmets look.”

Bears to win!

New England at Cincinnati

Little Dude: “Bengals.”

Me: “Why?”

Little Dude: “Because they have orange and black on them.”

Bengals to win!

Detroit at Green Bay

Princess: “Lions.”

Me: “Why?”

Princess: “Because they’re my favorite animal and they’re stronger…I think. Also, I don’t really know what a Packer is.”

Lions to win!

Kansas City at Tennessee

Little Dude: “What are Titans?”

CinC HOUSE: “They’re gods like Hercules.”

Little Dude: “I like dogs.”

CinC House: “Not dogs…gods.”

Little Dude: “Ok, those too.”

Titans to win!

Seattle at Indianapolis

Princess: “Seahawks.”

Me: “Why?”

Princess: “Because they fly and I want to fly one day.”

Seahawks to win!

Jacksonville at St. Louis

Little Dude: “I like the cheetahs!”

Jaguars to win!

Baltimore at Miami

Princess: “Dolphins.”

Me: “Why.”

Princess: “They’re your favorite team.”

Me: “That’s really not a good reason to do anything.”

Princess: “Fine. They’re my favorite animal.”

Dolphins to win!

Philadelphia at New York Giants

Little Dude: “Eagles.”

Me: “Why?”

Little Dude: “I like the colors on their helmet.”

Eagles to win!

Carolina at Arizona

Princess: “Panthers.”

Me: “Why?”

Princess: “Because cats eat birds like tigers eat Jayhawks.” (Her mother had a lot to do with this answer.)

Panthers to win!

Denver at Dallas

Little Dude: “Broncos.”

Me: “Why?”

Little Dude: “Because the Denver Bronco eats tigers and tigers eat Jayhawks and Jayhawks eat trees?”

Broncos to win!

Houston at San Francisco

Princess: “Texans.”

Me: “Why?”

Princess: “Because their name is close to Texas.”

Texans to win!

San Diego at Oakland

Little Dude: “Chargers.”

Me: “Why?”

Little Dude: “Ummm…I don’t know a word.”

Chargers to win!

New York Jets at Atlanta

Princess: “Falcons.”

Me: “Why?”

Princess: “They look cool when they fly in the sky.”

Falcons to win!

There you go folks. Those are the picks for week 5. Feel free to take them to the bank…actually, no…don’t do that. Under no circumstances should your money ride on any of the teams that my kids just picked.

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