Military Dad’s Completely Uninformed Football Picks for Week 2

Last week, I managed to go a pretty incredible 10-6 with my picks. I’m sure this is only fair to unacceptable for some folks, but the last time I regularly watched football, Wes Welker was just returning punts for the Dolphins. My understanding is that’s no longer the case. I’ll take a 62.5% winning percentage any day.

For week 2, I’ve decided to move this post up to Friday. This will allow me to complete it during a week day while also assuring that I still pick the Thursday night game correctly (Yes, I realize that’s cheating. Don’t judge me). Be advised that I prepared for this weekend by watching almost three quarters of a full game (Eagles and Redskins). On to the picks!

New York Jets at New England

From what others have told me about this game, I’m just extremely glad that I don’t get the NFL Network. Patriots to win!

St. Louis at Atlanta

I could easily handle a world where Atlanta starts 0-2, but I’m pretty sure the Rams starting 2-0 qualifies as a sign of the apocalypse. Falcons to win!

Carolina at Buffalo

It’s games like this that make me regret deciding to pick every single matchup. Panthers to win!

Minnesota at Chicago

My wife is a Broncos fan, so I remember Jay Cutler being a really good and reliable quarterback. I’m sure nothing has changed in that aspect of the past few years. Bears to win!

Washington at Green Bay

Does anyone know what the local delicacy is in D.C.? Do they get to sort of jump on the Baltimore crab cake bandwagon, or is there something else? Either way, it’s not as good as cheese. Packers to win!

Miami at Indianapolis

The Dolphins got off to a great start with defending their title! What’s that??? Well, they’ve won it recently though right??? Really, 1973??? So, all those Marino years??? Nothing, huh??? Oh well…Dolphins to win!

Dallas at Kansas City

Kansas City BBQ > Texas BBQ. Chiefs to win!

San Diego at Philadelphia

Chip Kelly’s offense is certainly fun to watch in Philadelphia. It looks just like a really good college team beating up on a weaker opponent. While I certainly don’t think it will work every week, I can think of a few college teams that could beat the Chargers. Eagles to win!

Cleveland at Baltimore

This is going to be my upset pick of the week…mostly because I have a good friend that is a huge Ravens fan and I think she needs to be taken down a rung. Browns to win!

Tennessee at Houston

Honestly, I don’t really know or care who wins this game. It just really bothers me that neither team is named the Oilers. Texans to win!

Detroit at Arizona

You would think that the Lions would be a really good road team…you know because of the whole not having to be in Detroit thing. Lions to win!

New Orleans at Tampa Bay

Mardi Gras!!! Saints to win!

Jacksonville at Oakland

This is a cool matchup between a former Los Angeles team and a future Los Angeles team. Raiders to win!

Denver at New York Giants

Saturday Night Live Peyton > Saturday Night Live Eli. Broncos to win!

San Francisco at Seattle

I don’t know much about these teams, but I know that both Russell Wilson and Marshawn Lynch have appeared in Madden commercials this year. That’s good enough for me. Seahawks to win!

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati

Here’s what I learned last week. The Steelers lost to the Titans. THE TITANS!!! Bengals to win!

That concludes my picks for week 2. I’m a little concerned that I picked a couple games based solely on food.

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