The Most Awkward Lunch Ever…Part 2 of 3

The tale of the most awkward lunch ever continues…

If you missed yesterday’s part 1, please make sure to go back and read about the World’s Drunkest Human. I have a feeling you’ll be amused. Part 2 is probably the least entertaining of the segments, but it was definitely the part that made me feel the most uncomfortable.

While the World’s Drunkest Human grabbed his Bloody Mary and slumped down on a barstool in the corner, I looked around in an effort to avoid letting him think that he was invited to resume his story telling. I noticed that the married couple next to me at the bar were both playing games on their iPads. I didn’t really think anything of it, so I turned my eyes to my newly arrived chicken tenders.

A few minutes later, I noticed that the wife had turned her tablet off and was talking to the husband. I noticed it because it was an extremely one-sided conversation that only got an occasional grunt in response and they were sitting right next to me.

Finally, she said, “Hey! I’m trying to talk to you.”

The husband responded with, “It can wait. I’m still playing my game.”

Now, as a lover of video games that has been married for almost a decade, I know for a fact that this is the absolute wrong answer. In fact, I couldn’t help but cringe inside while trying to keep my attention on my french fries.

Her response was pretty much what I would have expected. She glared at him for a minute before reaching over and shutting off his iPad. His response was something to behold as he looked around the bar for support. He tried to make eye contact with me, but I just so happened to find something very interesting in my Pepsi glass.

He turned back towards her and said, “You are always pulling this sh*t on me. I think I’m about f@#!ing done with it.”

This is the part where I wish one of them would have gotten up and stormed away. Instead they just sat there glaring at each other the entire time while I’m trying to convince myself that I still have an appetite. Finally, it was too uncomfortable to stand anymore, so I pushed my plate away and asked for the check.

Now, you would think that this would be the end of the most awkward lunch ever, but there’s still another very entertaining and uncomfortable segment to come tomorrow.

So far while trying to fly home for a death in the family, I’ve heard all about the sex life of a man with a BAC of .25 and possibly watched a marriage dissolve because of an iPad. Next you’ll get to hear about how I came to hate the entire state of Michigan while sitting in a Rhode Island airport.

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