Bachelor

I’m a horrible bachelor…like, just terrible. Whenever I’m away from my wife, and I have to provide for myself, it gets ugly…quick.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m a very independent person for the most part. I’ve been on my own since I was 18, and I’ve never asked anyone else for a dime. I can cook and clean, and I can generally keep myself alive.

Now that I’m living on my own for the next 6 months, however, I realize how dependent I’ve become on my wife. There are just little things that fall through the cracks like laundry…and feeding myself. Sometimes, 2:00 will roll around, and I’ll ask myself why I’m so hungry. Then, I’ll realize that it’s because I forgot to eat lunch...and breakfast!

Still, I felt like I was starting to get my feet under me. I was getting settled into my new place with my new roommates. We were able to get all of the necessities. Our place is furnished, but we still needed things like shower curtains and trash bags. I felt like I was in pretty good shape. Then…the grocery store…

Dear lord…the grocery store.

As my wife will readily tell you, I am horrible in the grocery store at the best of times. My primary contribution is usually throwing a bag of pistachios into the cart when she’s not looking. She’ll say things like, “Hey, why don’t you go get the milk while I get everything else.” Fifteen minutes later, she’ll be at the check-outs while I’m still trying to find the dairy cooler somewhere between the diapers and pot pies.

Now, add in the fact that I’m all by myself, and it’s that first shopping trip where you’re just trying to stock the house and don’t really have a concrete list. IT. WAS. A. NIGHTMAAAAAAARE……

I must have walked through the store 4 times. I found myself getting insanely angry at the canned chicken because the tuna wasn’t in the same area. Why the hell isn’t the Bisquick and Krusteaz right next to each other? Isn’t it possible to buy less than 3 pounds of salt at a time? Does there really need to be 76 different types of butter? Why am I crying? Sweet Baby Buddha, what is happening?!?!?!?!

I’m a horrible bachelor…

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