I’ve Got the Blues

Things have been pretty quiet here at Military Dad for the past month or so. I’ll plug in a picture or a video every once in awhile, but I’m only averaging about 1 post per week which is way down from what I normally do. When you take into account that I just passed the 1 year anniversary of this blog and didn’t make a peep about it, I’m actually a little disappointed in myself. The reason for this is simple: I’ve got the blues. To be more specific, I’ve got the “about to leave my family for a significant amount of time” blues.

I’m not deploying anytime soon, but my shore duty is over at the end of this month. Therefore, I have 6 months of school on the other side of the country before checking-in to my new ship which will be back here in San Diego. I doesn’t make sense to move the entire family across the country for 6 months just to move them back, especially when we own a house here, and it’s in the middle of the school year. Therefore, I will be going by myself.

This will be much easier than a deployment in many ways. I’ll get to talk to the family on the phone and even Skype with them from time to time. I’ll be able to fly home for the holidays, and they should be able to come visit me during spring break. It’s still incredibly tough to leave them and say good bye however.

Last November, I wrote about how leaving wasn’t the worst part about deployments for me. It’s the time that leads up to the leaving. Once the goodbyes are said, my family and I carry on fairly well. We all get into our routines, power through, don’t think about it, and eventually, we’re back together. It’s not the most romantic way to go about things, but it works for us, and we’ve kept our sanity this long.

However, there’s so much to do during the build-up that things get incredibly stressed and hectic. I take pride in my current work, so I don’t want my effort to fall off there. At the same time, I want to leave early enough that I can pick the kids up from school every day. On the weekends, there are a thousand things that we need to get done around the house before leaving, but we also just want to chill together as a family. In the evenings, I want to keep the kids up later to hang out, but it’s important for them to keep their routine. I also want to let the kids get away with anything because I’m reluctant to have the lasting memory of me for the next 6 months being me punishing them. However, if I don’t hold them to task, it won’t be fair to my wife after I leave.

These are just a few of the conflicts that arise when you have such a short time left with your family. Overlay everything with a general sense of dread and then realize that most of the time, I just want to curl up in a corner and cry. It certainly doesn’t help that I recently threw out my back, so I’ve been alternating between extreme pain and a drugged stupor for the past 4 days. In fact, I’m heavily under the influence of Valium while writing this.

You can certainly see how blogging takes a back seat during this entire process, even though I do greatly enjoy it. I used to write most of my posts during my lunch break at work. However, I’m now working through lunch in an effort to get home earlier, so that’s no longer an option. I do have a few dedicated readers out there, which is an incredibly humbling experience, and I feel an overwhelming urge to not let them down.

Therefore, please forgive my lack of posts over the past month or so. I have a feeling that the content will pick up once again shortly. Give me a little bit of patience, and I’ll rock your world with blogging like you’ve never seen before (that’s not actually a guarantee).

Until then, please enjoy the random videos, pictures, and smaller posts that I write. When I leave, I’ll be driving across county by myself, so there will be a post in the next couple weeks where I may be soliciting ideas for places to stop along the way. I’m going to take my time, and the only hard and fast plans that I have along my tentative route is eating some BBQ in Memphis. Really, the only reason I’m going to do this is brag to the city in person about how much better Kansas City’s BBQ is, but at least it’s a plan.

Cheers!

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