My wife is awesome. She is probably the most independent person that I have ever met. One of the reasons that I’m able to deploy when I have to is that I know she has everything under control. If something happens with the house or car, she is on top of it. She knows where all the money is, and she’s incredibly good at managing it.
There’s only one thing that really seems to bother her: talking to people she doesn’t know. Specifically, she hates ordering food. We have 3 very good pizza joints near by. They are all locally owned small businesses that have superb pies. Unfortunately, if we decide on pizza and she has to order, it’s going to be Papa John’s every time. Why? It’s because she can order from the huge chain online while she would have to physically talk to someone at the local places.
I make fun of her pretty relentlessly for this. I tell her that nobody is going to bite her through the phone, and they are always going to be polite because they’re trying to sell you stuff. I tell her that she’s going to have to get over it at some point because the fear is completely irrational. At least, I thought the fear was irrational. Then, I witnessed something yesterday that completely changed my mind.
They recently built a new Sonic near the beach that we normally go to. As a result, every beach visit will now be followed by Cherry Limeaids and Tots for all! We stopped for our post sandcastle-building snack, and since I was watching the kids, she went up to the window to place our order. Here’s what we were going to get: 4 medium tots and 4 medium diet cherry limeaids. As far as ordering food goes, that’s about as simple as it gets. Here’s how the following car crash unfolded to the best of my memory.
16 year old, very polite Sonic employee: What can I get you today?
CinC HOUSE: Ummm…I would like 4 regular diet cherry limeaids…wait, no…they can’t be regular and diet…
CinC HOUSE: 4 limeaids with cherry…diet…regular…no…(to me) Does that sound right?
CinC HOUSE: Ok, here we go…4 diet cherry limeaids…medium?
Employee: Ok, does that complete your order?
CinC HOUSE: Yes…wait, no!
Employee: What else can I get you?
CinC HOUSE: Ummm…4 medium orders of tots? (to me) Right?
Me: Nods very slowly.
Employee: Thank you very much! Your order will be right out.
Once we got to the car, I was still wide-eyed with the horror of what I had just witnessed, and she may have been visibly sweating. I then turned to her and with all honestly said, “I’m sorry. I was completely wrong. Your fear of ordering food is completely justified, and I will never make fun of you again (with the obvious exception of this blog post). I stand corrected.”
Since it looks like I am destined to a life of either ordering every meal myself or eating Papa John’s for all eternity, I might as well come to terms with it.