Noises in the Night

When it comes to the traditional husband/wife roles around the house, I don’t worry about it to much. To be completely honest, my wife is better at most things anyway. I’m still needed to reach things on the top shelf and open pickle jars, but if you want someone to install a sprinkler head or put together a new bookcase, she’s the one you should probably talk to. I’m still more likely to mow the lawn than mop the floor, but I certainly don’t shy away from the indoor chores either.

There are 2 areas where I retain my manly duties however. Like I’ve mentioned before, spiders fall firmly under my jurisdiction. The other responsibility is investigating strange noises in the night. Whenever there is a suspicious sound after hours, I’m the first one out of bed. Sometimes, CinC HOUSE will insist on checking things out as well, but I make sure that I am always the first person into a room. You can call it bravado or the need to protect my family, but it’s something that I take very seriously. Sometimes, I might take it too seriously because I’m usually up for the rest of the night.

When I was in college, I had somebody break into my apartment early one morning while I was taking a shower. In a somewhat awkward encounter, I was able to chase him away before he stole anything, but I wasn’t able to sleep very well for a couple weeks afterwards.

Before we had kids, it wasn’t too bad. If I walked through the house and there was nothing there, I could just get back in bed. The only other person that I really cared about protecting was there with me anyway. As long as she was safe, there was nothing to worry about. I would still stay awake for a couple hours, but I could just lie in bed.

Now with kids, everything is escalated. They are the first concern, and since they sleep in a different room, I can’t just stare at my own ceiling anymore. I’ll lie there thinking about all the possibilities. What was the sound? Did it come from outside, or was it in the house? Did I really search the garage well enough? Did I just hear it again?

After asking all these questions and ensuring that my heart rate stays around 135, I’ll usually just get up. I’ll check the house one more time, make sure the family is ok, and then position myself in the central room of the house to watch over everything. Sometimes, I’ll turn on the TV and watch reruns of Cheers at a low volume. Sometimes, I’ll fire up the Playstation for some mindless fun.

Tonight, I decided to write a blog post about it. We all heard a metallic noise of some sort. It might have been the neighbor’s wind chime falling or our cat walking across a pan, but whatever it was, I’m probably up for the long haul. Good morning.

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