I’ve recently come to a realization that has made me question the way that I interact with our daughter. This has never been a consious thought, but somewhere in the back of my head, I’ve always had the feeling that she was still young enough that she wouldn’t remember these years when she was older. This theory was recently blown out of the water because she just started kindergarten this year, and I have very vivid memories of my time there.
This has led me to question what her earliest memories are going to be and how I fit into those. It’s probably something that I am severely overthinking, but I would like her earliest memories of me to be awesome. I don’t want her to look back and remember a guy that sat on the couch and watched football all Sunday. I’d like her to remember a guy that was always there for her and read her stories before bed.
Now, I’m not going to stop disciplining my daughter just because she will be able to remember it. First of all, she’s only 5 years, and she still needs a certain level of discipline. Second, it would be grossly unfair to my wife to do that. It does have me asking myself questions though. Do I lose my patience too quickly? Do I yell too loudly? Unfortunately, the answer to both of these questions is probably yes.
There are other questions, however, where the answer is much more encouraging. Do I hug her enough? Do I tell her that I love her enough? Do I roll around on the floor and act like a little kid with her enough? I’m pretty sure that the answer to all these questions is also yes, which is awesome.
I’m sure that I am vastly overthinking this. I have nothing but positive memories from when I was her age, but I know that things weren’t always rosy. I’m sure that over time, you tend to remember the good things more, but the realization sure did send my mind spinning.